Feels like a Freakin' Balloon

First of all thanks for all the people who helped in the process of naming PJ did not know that Paulo has turned it into a forum in here, So this is where all the good ideas come from LOL
Anyhow been feeling like a freaking balloon me and Paul took two trips in vain to the hospital I am so sick of false alarms and back kicks that makes you feel that your back is going to be broken in two. Do not care how motherly people say It should feel it is not fun at all and I want to be over and done with. Actually it feels so bad to see Paul so clueless and feeling he is useless last night tried to walk him through what I was feeling but although he was holding my hand like I was going to run away and he frantically nodded his head he did not know what I was talking about. I am tired. I even decided to be at my mum's to help make Paul feel more at ease and go to work cause if Paul sat with me every time he felt worried he is probably going to be fired :)
I am thinking of having drug induced delivery and get it over and done with .. Don't know yet..

Back Pains

I have been having a lousy week and I feel worried, Ema went to the doctor and he told us that Junior is giving her hard time once again he decided to be up side down and now the doctor informed us there is a big chance that Em might give birth on the 7th month which scared the hell out of me. I am now very pissed at this small thing that is hurting my Em who in God's name does he think he is to do this? I know I sound silly and all being the reason of the mess but I feel guilty and wish we would take it back. Does that make me a bad father? Do not care honestly but the fact that I see her every now and then crossing her eye brows and biting her lips in silence from the pain so she would not freak me out makes me wonder what did I do?

I do not want this I want me Em back and hate how she has to be brave in her pains cause me lame ass fear for her that much. What can I do? I really wish I would endure her pain but do not know what to do but sit by the bed watch her sleeping and look at her swollen belly and pray to the man up stairs to bring her to safety.

Please God if you are going to punish me do not do it through her.. PLEASE